What Is Life All About? A Simple Answer to the Complex Question: How to Find Happiness?

I always love the dramatic pauses.

And how to find happiness is a topic that makes it easy for me to make the pauses in my stage show matter even more.

I get to survey the scene and gather my thoughts while the audience waits to hear and feel what’s coming next.

And if I’ve done my job well, they aren’t just ‘waiting’; they’re anticipating with incredible passion.

In this particular case, the mission was very much accomplished.

I looked out at the large, densely populated room and saw nothing but wide eyes and gaping mouths.

I had them.

Exactly where I wanted them in every way; pulse rates increased, breathing more rapid and their butts shuffled up to the edge of their seats.

I was set to reveal my tenets on how to find happiness. But not before I made the true core of the matter loud and clear for everyone to understand…

“Are you happy?” I asked.

I pointed directly to a vibrant looking young woman sitting in the second row.

“Yes” she answered meekly. I had caught her off guard perfectly.

“They didn’t hear that at the back, my love” I joked with her.

“YES!” she answered with enthusiasm.

“How about you?” I asked pointing to a man at the very back of the immense theatre, demonstrating without words that no one in attendance was safe from this part of my show.

“YES!” came his forceful, yet jovial holler so all could hear.

Like lemmings.

But I don’t say that in a negative or mean-spirited sense, at all.

Because we’re ALL lemmings from time-to-time; especially when the topic turns to a private, emotional matter like this.

The stage was set and the tone in place. It was time for me to make my real point…

“Liars” I said with a flat tone.

This second dramatic pause was much louder. Absolutely no one was expecting that kind of statement. After all, ‘motivational speakers’ are all about the hype, buzz and hysteria.

But I’m about the Truth.

Which is why I explained that I didn’t think these two people were liars, per say, but that everyone in the theatre would be best serve to look in the mirror and answer that question truthfully for themselves.

Are you happy?

In my life, I can tell you conclusively that true success (in both the material and fulfillment sense) has been a measurement in harmony to my degree of authentic happiness.

How to find happiness is not at all about becoming ‘successful’; but the inverse is very real.

In order to achieve success, in any way you opt to define that word, happiness is the premium factor that must come first.

During the remaining portion of my show, I explained to the audience that the key to how to find happiness is based on:

  1. The Truth to which you answer the question about your current state of happiness
  2. Understanding the common thread that connects us all to the state of being happy

While on stage, I used both stories from my own life as well as research to illustrate my point.

And on Wednesday, I’ll share that with you.

But let me leave you with this resounding point to consider….

Are you truly happy?

Let that question soak in for 48 hours.

How to find happiness. I have much more for you about that coming up.

Now, watch this video for a couple of more key insights:


Are you truly happy?  Scroll down and leave your comments below…

Ignore the Rules; Inspire the Extraordinary Within



19 Responses to What Is Life All About? A Simple Answer to the Complex Question: How to Find Happiness?

  1. Adele July 16, 2012 at 9:30 am #

    Brian do you mean happy ALL the time ?
    There are times when I am happy and content, but also times when I am totally lost and sad ,even angry and I can flit from one to another in a single day .
    I have always put it down to hormones / mood swings or some sort of chemical imbalance going on .
    Is it possible to feel really happy all the time?

    • Brian Grasso July 17, 2012 at 11:29 am #

      Is it really NOT possible to feel happy all the time?

      The ‘truth’ is nothing more than the one we tell ourselves. That we have bad days or times is reality.

      But why not merely accept them as fleeting moments that don’t need to infract on the internal happiness we choose to keep?


  2. Daniel Matos July 16, 2012 at 10:50 am #

    I am not entirely happy…

    But I have been very open with myself recently to authentically learn why…

    • Brian Grasso July 17, 2012 at 11:29 am #

      Awareness is beyond critical… From it will come your truth….

  3. Matt H July 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

    In all honesty I can admit in multiple areas in my life I am currently not happy Brian. While you bring up the questions and I think about it I notice that is is not exactly a bad thing either. I say ‘bad’ as most people I think do not want to admit as not being happy has such a negative meaning attached to it. Of while if you are not happy then what else can you be?

    I think realizing, accepting, and being honest with ourselves in the areas we are not happy is a good thing. As we can figure out why and take steps in the directions you want to go and be happy in those areas. Just something I thought of while pondering your question. Looking forward to Wednesday!

    • Brian Grasso July 17, 2012 at 11:32 am #

      Excellent point, Matt!

      Here’s my thing… Can’t we make these truths mutually exclusive?

      There are ‘things’, ‘areas’ and ‘parts’ of my life that I also want to improve. Why not just embrace that as the beauty of evolution and the desire of a man to ascend?

      That the things we want to improve can make us feel ‘unhappy’ is a choice.

      Something else for you to ponder, I suppose!

      <3 BG

      • Matt H July 17, 2012 at 11:36 am #

        Very true Brian and I think we are both on the same mindset with this. The relentless pursuit of happiness does not mean you have to be ‘unhappy’ with what you have done, where you are, and the areas you want to improve on. It is all part of the journey and becoming a better person today than you were yesterday. Love it

        • Brian Grasso July 17, 2012 at 11:40 am #

          Just a thought on language….

          “Pursuit of happiness” is something I try to remind myself of as oxymoronic. Happiness is a state. A default.

          That we are in the pursuit of things that we want to become better at (etc)…. That’s different.

          May seem small, but the language we carry can make all the difference!

          • Matt H July 17, 2012 at 11:47 am #

            You have opened my eyes more to the simple things in what we say, do, and read. The small emotional trigger attachments that can be linked to them. I am not looking at it as always chasing to be happy, but everyday make small steps to better yourself/life. If that makes sense?

  4. Brian Grasso July 17, 2012 at 11:49 am #

    Makes PERFECT sense!

    I am RELENTLESS in always reaching for more, better and beyond. But I also never mistake that with being unsettled with where I am or who I am.

    That gentle balance is critical….


    • Matt H July 17, 2012 at 11:52 am #

      Perfect Brian! What are some ways you use as reminders when you get unbalanced, to recenter?

      • Brian Grasso July 18, 2012 at 7:05 am #

        My major habit, Matt… I talk with Carrie.

        The action of that is simple: I DO NOT stay inside my own head.

        Talking is cathartic and it allows to get well away from the left side of my brain that is forever wanting me to ‘consider’, ‘be logical’ and ‘reasonable’.

        Carrie doesn’t ‘answer’. She doesn’t offer ‘solutions’. She listens and let’s me simply release.

        That is the only strategy I have because it’s the only one I need.

        If you don’t have a ‘Carrie’ then I suggest journaling. I used to and it provided the same effect…

        Hope this helps, brother!

        • Matt H July 18, 2012 at 10:27 am #

          Brian great advice and I know what you mean by having someone to just listen not there to answer and solve/suggest solutions. I will start working on the journal that is a good idea will have to make it a habit into my schedule.

  5. Laura F July 17, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    I am a very happy person. I feel I am usually happy. But lately I have not been satisfied and I think there needs to be a distinction between the two.

    I am not satisfied because I know that I do not push myself as much as I would like and have the ability to. I am not lacking the motivation, but more the direction in which way to point. I am motivated, happy and generally pretty content, but at the moment I feel quite lost and lonely which creates my feelings of being dissatisfied.

    I dont know which path to take..I feel I am at a five point fork in the road and have absolutely no idea which route to take, thus paralyzing me…

    • Daniel Matos July 17, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

      I know the feeling Lauren, oh too well…

    • Brian Grasso July 18, 2012 at 7:13 am #

      This is perhaps the one theme within FTRN that I’ve been stating from the start….

      You won’t ever know which path to take because that is a ‘thinking’ matter. Life must be played on the grid of what ‘feels’ right… And until we get into the journey, we won’t know what feels right.

      Over-thinking is the greatest vice we own. The whole concept of ‘pushing on the ocean’ is a matter of creating action towards something in order to gage and respond to how we feel.

      And YES…. There is a MASSIVE difference between being ‘unhappy’ and being ‘dissatissfied’. In fact, I wrote this passage two years ago – I didn’t know why I wrote it, but it seems to apply right now:

      Is it possible to be ‘Positively Unsatisfied’?

      I content yes… And urge you to read this carefully and not fall prey to the fortune cookie advice we hear so often society-wide…

      To be optimally satisfied, you must have constructive dissatisfaction.

      Dissatisfaction is the seed of growth.

      It’s what causes you to pursue.

      It’s your catalyst for better.

      It’s a gentle push for more.

      It should never be confused or allowed to sprout into feelings of ‘not good enough’.

      But it should also never lead to over-thinking; which is the genesis of inaction.

      We won’t ever ‘know’ (Laura and Danny)… Which is why we must create action to feel.

      And which of the ‘five point forks’ to we follow?

      It honestly doesn’t matter. And that is both the key, but also the hardest part to understand.

      The universe can’t help guide your journey until you actually get on a path…

      <3 BG

  6. Matt H July 18, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    Brian another thing for me to read a few times then to sit and ponder. Thank you for sharing this one.

  7. James D July 18, 2012 at 9:44 pm #

    I am unhappy in one main aspect of my life, that would be career related. But after speaking with Brian a few months ago, I was given the above words and I am now on my own path to improvement and going after what I want my life to be as far as my career. The dissatisfaction I have and had is what now drives me to be better and get better! One small step each day and week is moving me in the right direction for positive change. Thank you Brian!

    • Brian Grasso July 20, 2012 at 9:40 am #

      Brilliant, James…. I still remember our conversation very well and am THRILLED that it has stayed with you.

      Even more thrilled that you used it to create ACTION… That is (forever) the key…


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